Empathy is a strong strategy to construct belief, however leaning in too far may also backfire. One thing I’ve come to surprise after 3.5 years at Buffer as a Buyer Advocate is how can we use empathy successfully to boost the client assist expertise?
“The motion of understanding, being conscious of, being delicate to, and vicariously experiencing the emotions, ideas, and expertise of one other of both the previous or current with out having the emotions, ideas, and expertise totally communicated in an objectively express method” —Merriam-webster.com
When sitting down to write down this text, I struggled with how you can begin speaking about empathy. I initially needed to start out alongside the strains of “Empathy is a strong device”, however felt like this appeared that we should always pretend empathy to get what we would like; wielding it as a device for use when wanted.
Possibly a greater strategy to phrase it’s that empathy is an extremely highly effective a part of the customer support toolkit. It could actually assist us get nearer to the client’s expertise and extra totally perceive what they want from us. This may assist them depart this interplay feeling cared for and assist us, as assist professionals, really feel rewarded.

The ability of empathy
“I used to be actually moved with how a lot endurance and kindness I used to be handled. And that has been constantly executed, each time I’ve had a question or downside. I so recognize that. Particularly as I am actually out of my depth with digital know-how which makes me really feel reasonably susceptible and are the mercy of those that know higher, it’s particularly appreciated. Your service by no means lacks humanity and compassion and in an age the place a lot is regulated by laptop applications, this stands out in a brightly shining gentle.” —Buyer suggestions (February 2022)
Empathy has unbelievable energy within the buyer assist expertise. It has the ability to make the client really feel heard, diffuse a buyer’s anger, and de-escalate a tense state of affairs. When a buyer writes in with a grievance and we reply with real empathy, it might talk a number of issues to the client:
- Validation that they’re encountering a real downside;
- Our understanding that the issue is necessary to them;
- Acknowledgment that their downside is now necessary to us; and
- Information that we wish to resolve the issue with them.
As a buyer assist skilled, if we really feel empathy for the client who’s writing in, we are going to wish to work more durable to assist them. It could even encourage us to think about artistic workarounds for points which are past our management. If we will efficiently resolve the problem for the client, there’s additionally the added bonus of job satisfaction. Our mind rewards us for serving to others.
An excessive amount of empathy can backfire
“Your response is obnoxious.” —Buyer suggestions (February 2021)
After I first joined the client assist crew at Buffer, we seen empathy as one of many key features of any buyer assist expertise. In truth, throughout ticket opinions, we have been measured primarily based on three issues: Accuracy, Readability and Empathy (this was later modified to Consciousness, Readability and Empowerment). Over time although, we started to acknowledge that an excessive amount of empathy, or prioritizing empathy over all else, was additionally not very best.
Whereas clients do wish to really feel heard, their primary objective is to have their downside solved. For some clients, an empathetic response, with out a clear understanding of the actions being taken, irritates them and makes them really feel worse concerning the state of affairs and interplay. What clients want from us are options and never a shoulder to cry on.
Let’s perform a little thought train to see this in motion — you’re employed at an electronics retailer and a buyer is available in with a damaged tv that they not too long ago purchased from you. Other than widespread courtesy, they don’t seem to be on the lookout for you to spend the primary 5 minutes of their time collectively explaining how nicely you perceive the frustration they have to’ve skilled all through their ordeal. They aren’t even on the lookout for you to offer a refund for the machine. As an alternative, they need their tv to work; they should perceive that you just’re taking motion. (Thanks, Ross, for this enjoyable illustration!)
Expressing an excessive amount of empathy can appear disingenuous even when our response comes from a real place. Likewise, in cases the place we’re empathetic however can’t present an answer for the client, empathy itself may cause a buyer to really feel even angrier.
An excessive amount of empathy can adversely influence assist brokers
“It may be laborious working with dissatisfied clients. Some issues are very complicated and require a number of troubleshooting, which is emotionally and mentally draining.” —Buffer Buyer Advocate
An excessive amount of empathy can be dangerous to our well-being. If we’re too empathetic, we danger, to paraphrase a colleague of mine, “becoming a member of them within the pit of their despair, reasonably than serving to them out of it” (Thanks for this nugget, Dave!). Being too empathetic in buyer assist, the place we’re inundated every day with quite a few points and grievances from totally different clients, may also result in burnout.
Discovering the precise steadiness
To date, I’ve mentioned:
- Empathy = Good
- An excessive amount of empathy = Unhealthy
How do we discover the steadiness? There isn’t a excellent reply, however, for me, there are typically three guidelines I comply with when working with clients.
(1) Any empathy I categorical have to be real
Buyer assist advocates, at the very least inside Buffer, have already got fairly excessive ranges of empathy, so feeling empathy for a buyer would often come naturally. As a human, residing within the trendy world, I personally have oftentimes felt extremely annoyed with know-how, totally different firms, or buyer assist experiences. Due to these experiences, I can relate to and empathize with most clients that attain out to us.
In cases when I’m not naturally empathizing with the client, I discover it helpful to essentially attempt to put myself within the buyer’s sneakers. I’d make up a narrative in my thoughts to assist — like imagining that the client had been reprimanded by their boss for an error that could be associated to the problem they’re dealing with with Buffer. I’d attempt to think about I’m a distinct particular person feeling the best way the client is feeling, though I personally wouldn’t really feel that approach in the identical state of affairs. It takes a little bit bit extra effort, but it surely makes the interplay extra real and it might positively influence the results of the dialog.
(2) I’ll default to motion
Whereas empathy is a part of our toolkit, our major device is “motion.” Our job is to assist clients repair their points: first to establish what the problem is after which to search for an answer or a subsequent step. That is the first goal of each interplay and with out motion on the forefront, no quantity of empathy will suffice.
(3) Keep wholesome boundaries
There are two boundaries I like to remember: these of the client, and my very own. To me, defending a buyer’s boundary means not over-apologizing. Whereas we would really feel extremely dangerous for the client, our job is to search out options and to empower and uplift our clients. Typically talking, we will often keep away from over-apologizing if we’re real and solution-driven.
Defending my very own boundaries means understanding when to redirect or finish a dialog. There could also be cases the place I don’t know how you can clear up a buyer’s problem. A wholesome boundary could be understanding when to escalate the dialog to a different tier of assist.
There could also be different cases the place a dialog turns into an excessive amount of to deal with and I can then lean into Buffer’s Teammate Safety Pledge and hand the dialog off to a different teammate or a crew lead. That is notably necessary in terms of threatening and abusive conduct that may danger my very own psychological well-being.
There could also be instances if you attain an deadlock with the client. The place no answer matches the client’s wants and no reply will deescalate the dialog — the place any response makes the client angrier. When additional dialogue doesn’t really feel productive, I finish the dialog understanding I’ve executed the perfect I probably can for them.
(4) Revisit uplifting conversations
For each sporting dialog encountered, there are possible a number of uplifting conversations which have come our approach. There are much more optimistic conversations to discover when trying throughout the entire crew, so making an effort to rejoice and spotlight these might be extremely rewarding and uplifting.
At Buffer, we share notably touching messages publicly with our crew on Slack (with the client’s identification redacted). Our teammate, Cheryl, additionally publishes a month-to-month Buyer Satisfaction (CSAT) Report back to our crew, the place she highlights the entire optimistic suggestions we’ve acquired. One thing like this will equalize our pure human concentrate on enchancment.
Stability is difficult
The above are my private opinions on empathy’s position within the customer support expertise. It’s also my present “very best.” Not solely will my opinions on this modification over time, however how carefully I keep on with my “very best” will change with each interplay. Discovering steadiness is difficult and each buyer is totally different. Our moods on totally different days and at totally different instances additionally fluctuate. The necessary factor is understanding that we’re doing our greatest.
In the event you learn all the best way to the tip of this text, it means you already care sufficient about your craft to take a position time studying extra opinions on it.
I’d love to listen to your ideas: How do you view empathy in buyer assist? Ship us a tweet with the hashtag #customersupportthoughts.
This text was initially printed on our assist weblog.